by Berni Stevens | Jun 22, 2021
Divorce is a life changing decision full of emotional and financial disruption. So when it comes to how you want to handle the ins and outs of asset division and custody arrangements, it’s important to weigh your personal circumstances carefully before committing to working with a family divorce mediator or a family lawyer.
While it’s true that most divorces don’t need to go to court and that divorce mediation has become a tried-and-true practice for modern divorce, sometimes hiring a family lawyer is a smart call.
1. Your Divorce is Contested
Divorce is often a sticky topic. The emotionally charged aspect of divorce can cloud judgment and drag out the process. These are the types of divorces that need court intervention and are usually the most difficult ones.
If your divorce is contested, you, your soon-to-be-ex, or both of you have differences that make it impossible to reach a divorce agreement on your own. Generally, settlement negotiations try to find middle ground and carve out an equal division of shared assets. When a settlement agreement can’t be reached through a collaborative private negotiation, it’s settled in divorce court.
2. Emotional Hang-ups and Attachments to Possessions
A divorce might seem amicable and uncontested when the paperwork is filed and in the initial talking phases, but emotions can really derail the process. Sometimes, this can involve an irrational attachment to shared possessions.
While both parties may believe that the best possible course of action for the future is divorce, this doesn’t make the act of divorce any easier. Emotions can often steamroll logic. Divorces that drag on become expensive. If you find that your emotions are overtaking reason, it’s probably best to work with a family lawyer.
3. Custody Disputes
Divorce is often a sticky topic. The emotionally charged aspect of divorce can cloud judgment and drag out the process. These are the types of divorces that need court intervention and are usually the most difficult ones.
If your divorce is contested, you, your soon-to-be-ex, or both of you have differences that make it impossible to reach a divorce agreement on your own. Generally, settlement negotiations try to find middle ground and carve out an equal division of shared assets. When a settlement agreement can’t be reached through a collaborative private negotiation, it’s settled in divorce court.
4. When Mediation is the Right Choice
Family divorce mediation is a great choice for divorcing couples who are able to manage and sort out the emotions surrounding their divorce. If you are filing an uncontested divorce, then mediation can save you stress, time, and money.
Divorce mediators are knowledgeable in family law, and many professionals bring valuable legal and financial expertise to the negotiating table. Be sure to educate yourself on the mediation process and familiarize yourself with the services mediators offer. A divorce mediator can be a lawyer, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) or other appropriately trained individual. Be sure you understand the differences in your alternatives and which would be best suited for your case. The decision of choosing a family lawyer or a divorce mediator is a personal one. Asking the right questions can help you set reasonable expectations and make a decision on whether or not a mediator will meet your professional needs.
Is mediation right for you? Visit our website to schedule a free divorce strategy session online with TruNorth Divorce Solutions.
by Berni Stevens | Jun 9, 2021
As soon as you begin to contemplate divorce, the nauseating, panic-attack-inducing realization of losing half of your net worth kicks in. You find yourself wondering if it’s even worth it to consider leaving if you’re just going to end up broke and starving.
There are ways to ensure that your financial future is not destined for disaster. First and foremost, be sure you involve a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) or CDFA®-Mediator so that you will be fully informed of all the creative settlement possibilities that may be open to you. They are your best bet when you want to keep your money safe.
A couple married 24 years were referred together to a colleague for assistance with their divorce. They had gone to an attorney together and were completely amicable. The attorney made it clear that he could only do their document preparation since he was ethically bound to represent only one party. That was ok, but they asked how they would determine their property division. He responded,
“This is a community property state so we’ll just divide each asset and each debt exactly 50/50.”
The couple just didn’t feel like that was the smart thing to do. They were referred to the CDFA® to explore options.
After gathering all of their financial documents and completing the analysis, the CDFA® put together two reports for the clients. The first reflected an exact 50/50 split as the attorney had suggested. The second was a creative settlement solution that also resulted in a net 50/50 split but took into consideration tax planning and consequences as well as the needs of each party as they planned for the next phase of their lives.
This couple had less than $800k in total net worth and the creative settlement solution resulted in an additional $20,000 EACH to their bottom line just because some financial intelligence was used to determine their settlement. That’s real money! That’s how you keep your money! Needless to say, the couple was thrilled knowing that they saved $40,000!
Don’t go into this blind. There are so many ways to ensure that both of you get to keep more of your own money. Get the right experts on your team. We’d love to help you! Call us today.
by Berni Stevens | May 25, 2021
So, you’ve decided to seek a mediation for your divorce, and you’re exploring local options. With emotions running high, picking a divorce mediator in Annapolis can seem like a daunting task. The professional you decide to work with needs to hold a level of your trust—after all, they will be helping you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse navigate the murky waters of divorce.
Choosing a mediator that fits your needs is a careful decision, it’s a good idea to do your homework ahead of time. Thinking about the types of things you might ask a professional mediator before you make the decision to commit to one is a good way to prep for an initial consultation. TruNorth Divorce Solutions has put together a quick list of questions that you might want to ask your prospective mediator.
1. How do you define success? How do you facilitate this during the mediation process?
This is a great question to ask during your initial meeting with a professional divorce mediator because odds are that this is the first time you’ve sought out a divorce mediation and are unsure about how the process works. Mediation is a collaborative effort between you, your ex, and the mediator you choose to work with.
It’s important to outline expectations before the mediation process begins, and this question can really flush out some of those expectations. Ideally, you want to work towards a divorce settlement that both parties are happy with. Your prospective mediator may go into detail about their strengths and what they bring to the negotiation table.
2. What is your success rate?
This is a great follow up question to ask in tandem with how your mediator defines success. The answer to this question can provide some much-needed confidence and really influence your choice.
The mediator will probably touch on the depth of their experience in the industry and how many divorcing couples they have worked with. They might also have some metrics (i.e., that they have successfully mediated XX divorces in the Annapolis area for X years) of success to share with you that reflect their professional expertise. They may even share some relevant anecdotes.
3. How much does mediation cost?
Ah, the price tag. An important question. Make sure to get these details during your initial consultation. Your mediator may bill hourly or have a flat rate mediation fee. While one divorce mediator in Annapolis may charge $1000 an hour for their services another may have a flat rate fee for services of $7000. Don’t make assumptions and ask for rates up front.
Remember, price isn’t always the main consideration behind choosing a mediator and shouldn’t necessarily deter you. While it is important to stay on budget, you should also consider the level of skill and expertise that the mediator has to offer.
4. How long is each mediation session/how long does mediation typically last?
Another great question to ask your divorce mediator is how long each session will last and how long the process takes overall. These questions can be particularly salient if your mediator bills by the hour.
The answer to this question also gives you an idea of how much time you will need to carve out of your schedule for the mediation process. You can also ask about whether your mediator holds private sessions (depending on your circumstances) and other questions surrounding the level of commitment expected of you.
5. What do your services include?
Being unfamiliar with mediation, you probably want to ask about what is included with their services. Is the mediator drafting up divorce settlement documents for you? Will they be filing them on your behalf? Will you have to pay additional court costs or those included? Asking this question up front will help give you a clear picture of what to expect of your mediator.
Any reputable mediator would welcome these questions during your consultation, so you shouldn’t hesitate to ask. Looking for a divorce mediator in the Annapolis area? Contact TruNorth Divorce Solutions for a free divorce strategy session.
by Berni Stevens | May 13, 2021
What is the Price of Peace?
Every divorce has a price tag—filing fees, divorce attorney or mediator fees, and other court-related expenses total up quicker than you might think. So, what is the price to pay for peace? The answer to this question largely depends on how you go about getting divorced.
What can you do to keep divorce costs down? TruNorth Divorce Solutions sheds some insight into the true cost of divorce and provides some pointers to help you avoid breaking the bank.
1. Why does divorce cost so much?
Divorce is never one-size-fits-all—no two are the same. But while the nitty gritty details vary by situation, there are a few common factors that draw out the process and drive costs up.
Contested divorces are usually rooted with irreconcilable conflicts and tough emotions, and this really complicates the divorce process. Generally, these types of divorces go to court to be settled because resolving things amicably through cooperative efforts is next to impossible.
What does this have to do with the cost of your divorce? Time spent is the answer. The divorce process is essentially a negotiation and when an agreement can’t be easily reached, the time of divorce attorneys, the court and its officials, other family law professionals is enlisted to help arrive at a divorce settlement agreement.
2. Filing costs
The cost to formally file for divorce through the court varies by state. In the state of Maryland, for example, the average cost to file with the court is $185 (if you hire an attorney; $165 if you are representing yourself—although this is not generally advised if you have joint assets). There are other costs associated with serving your ex with an official decree of divorce.
Things can snowball quickly in a contested divorce because it’s hard to reach an agreement. Court appearances, responding to motions, filing paperwork, and the cost of the time of the professionals involved during the process all add a divorce’s overall price tag.
3. Legal representation
One of the biggest expenses in any divorce are attorney fees—hourly rates for family law attorneys can be pricey. According to Bankrate, the average cost of a US divorce is around $15,000. Divorce lawyers generally bill for your initial consultation and then establish an hourly rate going forward.
It’s important to familiarize yourself with the services your lawyer provides, and it’s also a good idea to have them disclose billing practices up front so that there aren’t any surprises down the road. Never go in blind.
Pro-tip: Picking up legwork by getting paperwork and relevant account statements together can help you save on billable hours. Being organizationally savvy and providing an accurate and clear picture of your finances can end up saving you a good chunk of change.
4. Divorce mediation cost instead of court
It’s not uncommon for separating couples seeking an uncontested divorce to enter private mediation instead of going through the court system—but how much does divorce mediation cost? According to Thumbtack, divorce mediation costs can range anywhere from $100 and $1000 an hour in the US and an overall cost anywhere between $3,500 and $7,500 (some mediators charge more for services than others and cost varies widely by state). Some professional mediators have an established fixed fee for their services.
Professional mediators who have financial and legal backgrounds can help speed up the divorce process and save you money. But remember, the best option isn’t always the most affordable option. Do some research and make sure you end up with a good fit.
Mediation may be an easier path to divorce, but is choosing to work with divorce mediator right for you? Choosing to work with a divorce mediator can save you a load of time, stress, and money. A professional divorce mediator possesses the expertise of a lawyer and may also bring a financial services background to the table.
While divorce is an expense, there is no reason to break the bank. Remember, with a little financial savviness and education, you can offset some of the cost. Want to explore whether divorce mediation is a good fit for you? Contact TruNorth Divorce Solutions for a free consultation.
by Berni Stevens | Apr 21, 2021
We’ve previously published a number of pieces to help you financially prepare for and navigate through your divorce (e.g., Three Critical Financial Steps in Getting You Through Divorce and our free eBook, “Seven Things to Do Before You Divorce”). As you prepare to move beyond divorce, you may be wondering how you’ll ever make ends meet as you transition from a double income to single income household.
TruNorth Divorce has put together a quick list of five post-divorce budget to-do’s for the newly separated—from big ticket items to the smaller often overlooked expenses.
Be realistic about your reduced household income
With divorce comes the separation of a household and division of assets. The move to a single income household can completely alter your financial outlook—for better or worse. The first step to determining your post-divorce budget is to total up your adjusted monthly expenses and compare this against your new gross monthly income.
Unless you were the sole income earner, your household income has been reduced. Ideally, your monthly expenses—rent or mortgage payments, utilities, internet and phone services, food, gas, etc.—shouldn’t exceed one third of your total monthly income. Your post-divorce budget could end up leaving you with a surplus, allowing you to splurge by increasing your slush fund. More likely though, you may find yourself having to reduce spending on nonessentials to stay in the black.
Consider often overlooked increases in household spending
Spouses share cell phone plans, insurance plans, streaming subscriptions, and more. Combining lines for a family plan discount offered by a cell phone provider and bundling auto insurance policies for a better overall rate are just two examples of how couples save money through shared policies and plans.
For some, part of cutting ties with their former partner involves doing away with anything shared. Anything to avoid that awkward text exchange months down the road asking if the Netflix password was changed. Do yourself a solid and be sure to factor these small increases into your monthly budget. It might not seem like much, but the little things can add up quickly. It’s important to get an accurate picture of your spending to establish a proper budget.
Look for viable healthcare coverage
Many married couples share healthcare plans and often choose the better employer plan for optimum coverage and price. If you and your ex shared a health insurance plan, it’s possible that you may see an increase in health insurance coverage costs into your post-divorce budget.
Depending on the specifics of your situation, healthcare could end up being a one of your more costly post-divorce expenses. If you were covered by a spouse’s employer you will need to seek affordable coverage outside of an employer provided plan. Explore the options available in your area, including state and federal healthcare programs that may offer discounts or subsidies.
Pickup contract work to earn additional income
If your post-divorce budget is tight, you may consider picking up some extra cash through “gig work” and independent contracts to supplement your income. Food delivery, rideshare services, and more rely on independent contractors and offer schedule flexibility.
Use your skillset to your advantage—i.e., if you have a strong writing background, consider ghostwriting for a blogsite or tutoring. Craigslist advertises gig jobs in a standalone section and freelance job postings are commonly shared through social media job posting groups. Landing a good side hustle is a quick way to thicken your income stream.
Stick to your post-divorce budget
The first rule of budgeting is stick to your budget. For many of us, that’s easier said than done. Tracking your spending month-to-month can help provide a more accurate picture of where your money is going. Little changes like making your own coffee at home can go a long way to
Breaking down your spending habits can help you make smart decisions about how to reallocate spending and maximize savings. For example: if you find that your food budget is consistently blown because you’re ordering takeout more than twice a week, you can consciously choose to put a cap on that spending. To monitor how well you’re doing, use an expense tracker app like Mint by Intuit.
Divorce doesn’t have to mean living in squalor. It may require some adjustments to make ends meet and build a solid financial future though. Proper budgeting can set you up for post-divorce financial success.
For more articles on all things divorce-related, explore our blogsite.
