For many couples, the idea of a do-it-yourself divorce sounds like a relief. No lawyers. No sky-high fees. Just a few forms, a notary, and a trip to the courthouse — right?
It’s no wonder DIY divorce has become so popular. When emotions are high and money is tight, “keeping it simple” feels like the only way forward.
But there’s a catch: divorce paperwork is only as good as what’s behind it. If the financial details aren’t sound, or if key legal steps get missed, those “simple” decisions can create expensive, irreversible mistakes.
That’s why I always say — yes, you can do your own divorce. You just need to do it the right way.
What a DIY Divorce Really Means
A “DIY divorce” simply means handling your own process — completing and filing the paperwork, creating your settlement agreement, and managing the court filings — without hiring attorneys to do it all for you.
It can work well when:
You and your spouse are cooperative and transparent
Your finances are relatively straightforward
You both want to save money and time
But even in the simplest cases, it’s easy to overlook important financial details that have long-term consequences. Divorce isn’t just about paperwork — it’s about setting up two separate financial lives that still work.
Why People Choose It
Let’s be honest: most people don’t want a legal battle. They just want out — fairly and affordably.
The appeal of DIY divorce is real:
Lower cost: Legal fees can easily exceed $10,000 per spouse.
Faster timeline: You’re not waiting on attorneys’ schedules.
Control: You stay in charge of your own decisions.
The problem? Without professional review, you might not even know what you’re missing until it’s too late.
Common DIY Divorce Mistakes
Here are some of the biggest pitfalls I’ve seen over the years — and what they can cost.
1. The Missing QDRO
A couple agrees to split a retirement account 50/50 and puts it in their paperwork. But they never file the required Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). Years later, when one spouse retires, the other gets… nothing. Cost: $100,000+ in lost retirement income.
2. The House Headache
One spouse keeps the home “for stability.” No refinance, no appraisal, no tax review. Months later, they can’t afford the mortgage and learn they can’t qualify for refinancing — or claim the capital gains exemption later. Cost: tens of thousands in taxes and credit damage.
3. The Tax Time Surprise
A “simple” agreement leaves one parent unable to claim dependents or deductions. Come April, they owe thousands more than expected. Cost: $10,000 in lost tax savings — and a lot of stress.
Each of these started as a DIY divorce that seemed fine — until the details caught up.
How to Do DIY Divorce the Right Way
That’s where DIY Divorce Done Right™ by TruNorth comes in.
It’s designed for couples who want a low-cost, no-lawyer divorce option — without costly mistakes.
Instead of navigating confusing legal forms and hoping everything holds up, you get:
Guided, questionnaire-based input — no legal jargon, no guesswork.
Step-by-step filing guidance — exactly where to file, how to submit, and what to expect.
Best-practice checklists for smooth court processing.
Two hours of CDFA review — a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst reviews your proposed settlement and final agreement for financial fairness and soundness.
Optional full-service preparation and filing — for those who want to hand it off completely.
This isn’t just “DIY paperwork.” It’s DIY with professional backup.
Who It’s Right For
DIY Divorce Done Right™ is ideal for couples who:
Want to stay amicable and cooperative
Have manageable assets (like a home, retirement accounts, or savings)
Agree on most terms but want to make sure everything is financially fair
Value peace of mind as much as saving money
Even if your situation is a bit more complex, starting with a guided DIY process can help you clarify your goals — and upgrade to full service if needed.
Why It Matters
Once a divorce is finalized, it’s incredibly hard to undo financial mistakes. Courts rarely reopen settled cases, even if you later realize something was missed.
That’s why an affordable review by a divorce financial professional can make all the difference. It’s the safeguard that lets you move forward confidently, knowing your agreement truly supports your future — not just your present.
The Bottom Line
A DIY divorce can absolutely work — if you do it the right way.
With DIY Divorce Done Right™ by TruNorth, you can:
Save money and time
Keep control of your process
Avoid the financial traps that catch so many others off guard
Because when you’re ending a marriage, the last thing you need is a costly surprise.
Do it yourself — with the clarity, guidance, and peace of mind you deserve.
It’s no secret that over 50% of marriages end in divorce, even more if you’re in your 2nd or 3rd marriage. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing depends on your perspective. I’m a believer that life is short and everyone is entitled to their happiness. My guess is that if you’re not happy in your marriage, your spouse isn’t either.
If you’re thinking about ending your marriage there a few steps you need to take before you initiate your divorce. These will help to ensure the best outcome for you should you decide to move forward. This is not a decision to be taken lightly and a little preparation can go a long way. The reality is that you now have to stop thinking emotionally and start thinking financially.
#1 Get Real and Start Planning
Divorce may be the toughest this you’ll ever do. Believe me, I know. Right now all you may be thinking about is how miserable you are and that you have to get out. Before you pull the plug though, take a deep breath. Then start planning so that you (and your children) have the best foundation for a happier future.
Start by assessing your current lifestyle and what you’d be able to afford on your own. What’s your current budget and spending? How much will it cost you to live on your own? How much more will you need to get by? Will this come from child support, alimony, a new job? If child support or alimony, best get some help figuring out how much that will be. If you need a new job, will that require more schooling or training? Do you want to keep the marital home? If so, can you refinance it in order to keep it? Can you really afford it? Too often this is an overly emotional decision. Will the kids really be happier in their current house if you’re struggling to pay the mortgage and utility bills?
Finally, what do you want your life to look like in five, ten, twenty years? What other situations in your life have you encountered where you had to call on your best qualities to succeed? Which qualities will you need now to get you where you want to go? How will you define a “successful divorce”? How will you take care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually over the next difficult months to ensure that success?
# 2 Get Divorce Support
Now that you’ve taken stock and assessed what you’ll need. What kind of support will you need? A good therapist for emotional strength? A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) or a CDFA®-Mediator to help you plan financially and for what a realistic settlement will look like? A divorce coach to help with all the decisions you’ll need to make along the way? A lawyer if you think litigation is inevitable?
A piece of advice, your first phone call should not be a lawyer! Assess your alternatives and ask for support where applicable but don’t assume you’ll need a lawyer for your divorce.
#3 Protect Yourself Financially
You will need to prepare for divorce and set some things up financially before your spouse is aware that you want a divorce or has reason to make life difficult for you. Start by opening your own checking and savings accounts and make sure there’s enough in them to get you by for two or three months. Get your credit report and start monitoring it periodically. Apply for a credit card or two in your own name. Last, consider you will, as well as beneficiaries on investment accounts and insurance policies. You should make appropriate chances in case something happens to you.
The divorce process can be scary and overwhelming. Starting with a plan and professionals that you trust to guide you through the process can be key in making sure you’re ready for you future. If you’re thinking about divorce schedule your complimentary divorce strategy session where we’ll explore your options and connect you with any resources you might need.
Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t always have to be a battlefield. For many couples, mediation offers a more amicable and cost-effective alternative to traditional litigation. As a divorce mediator in Maryland, I’ve seen firsthand how mediation can save couples time, money, and emotional stress. But one question I’m often asked is, “How much does divorce mediation really cost?” In this comprehensive guide, we’ll break down the costs associated with divorce mediation, compare it to other methods, and help you understand what factors influence the overall expense.
Understanding the Basics of Divorce Mediation Costs
Before we dive into specific numbers, it’s important to understand that the cost of divorce mediation can vary widely based on several factors. These include your location, the complexity of your case, the mediator’s background and experience, and the number of sessions required to reach an agreement.
Average Costs
In the U.S., the average cost of mediation typically ranges from $3,000 to $8,000 for a full mediation process. Some mediators charge by the hour, with rates often between $200 to $500 per hour.
What’s Included (and What’s Not)
Typically, the costs mentioned above cover the mediator’s time for sessions and some preparation work. However, they usually do not include:
Preparation of legal documents
Court filing fees
Attorney review of the mediation agreement (if desired)
Any necessary appraisals or financial analyzes
The cost for preparing and filing divorce papers can range from $300 to $1,500 or more, depending on the complexity of the case and whether an attorney is involved. Court filing fees are separate and vary by county, typically ranging from $100 to $400.
Factors Influencing the Cost of Divorce Mediation
Several key factors can significantly impact the overall cost of your divorce mediation:
1. Mediator’s Professional Background
The professional background of your mediator can have a substantial influence on both their hourly rate and their approach to your case. Let’s break down the typical costs and benefits associated with different types of mediators:
Attorney-Mediators
Typical hourly rate: $300 to $800
Benefits:
Extensive legal knowledge
Ability to draft legally sound agreements
Understanding of court expectations
Skill in handling complex legal issues
Attorney-mediators bring extensive legal knowledge and understanding of court expectations. It’s important to note that while attorney-mediators bring valuable legal expertise to the table, they cannot provide legal advice to either party during mediation. Their role is to facilitate agreement and provide general legal information, not to act as an attorney for either side. Moreover, most mediated cases do not require legal knowledge beyond what is readily available to the public and other professionals who specialize in divorce. They also do not have an in-depth understanding of divorce finance nor handling of complex emotional situations.
Mental Health Professionals (Psychologists, Therapists)
Typical hourly rate: $150 to $400
Benefits:
Skilled at handling emotional issues
Expertise in child-related disputes
Ability to improve communication between parties
Understanding of family dynamics
Therapist mediators are particularly beneficial when there are significant emotional issues or child custody disputes. They can help navigate complex emotions, facilitate better communication, and keep the focus on the best interests of any children involved. They also do not have an in-depth understanding of divorce finance nor handling of complex emotional situations.
Skilled at business, pension, and executive compensation valuations
Understanding of tax implications
Ability to create long-term financial projections
Financial mediators are invaluable when dealing with high-net-worth divorces, complex asset divisions, or cases involving business, pension or executive compensation valuations. They can provide insights into the long-term financial implications of various settlement options. They typically do not have the skills required to handle complex emotional situations or custody disputes.
When choosing a mediator, consider not just the hourly rate, but also how their specific expertise aligns with your needs. Sometimes, paying more for a mediator with the right background can lead to a more efficient process and better outcomes, potentially saving money in the long run.
2. Complexity of Your Case
The more complex your situation, the more time (and thus, money) it will likely take to reach a resolution. Factors that can increase complexity include:
High-value or complex assets (e.g., businesses, multiple properties, international investments)
Child custody and support issues
Spousal support considerations
Significant debt to be divided
Inheritance or trust fund issues
3. Level of Conflict
If you and your spouse are generally cooperative and willing to compromise, your mediation may proceed more quickly and cost less. High-conflict cases often require more sessions and more intensive mediator involvement, increasing the overall cost.
4. Geographic Location
As with many services, the cost of mediation can vary significantly based on where you live. Urban areas and regions with a higher cost of living typically have higher mediation rates.
5. Number of Sessions Required
Most divorces require multiple mediation sessions. The number can range from 2-3 for very simple cases to 10 or more for complex situations. Each session typically lasts 2-3 hours.
Conclusion: Is Divorce Mediation Worth the Cost?
While the cost of divorce mediation can vary widely, it’s generally a more affordable option than traditional litigation. More importantly, it often leads to better outcomes for all involved, especially when children are part of the equation.
When choosing a mediator, consider not just their hourly rate, but also their professional background and how it aligns with your specific needs. Sometimes, paying more for the right expertise can lead to a more efficient process and better long-term outcomes.
Remember, the goal of mediation is not just to end your marriage, but to do so in a way that allows both parties to move forward positively. When viewed through this lens, the cost of mediation can be seen as an investment in a healthier, more stable future for you and your family.
Ultimately, the decision to pursue mediation should be based on your unique circumstances, financial situation, and willingness to work cooperatively with your spouse. For many couples, the combination of cost savings, reduced stress, and better outcomes makes mediation an invaluable tool in navigating the challenging process of divorce.
As you consider your options, don’t hesitate to reach out to multiple mediators for consultations. Most offer an initial meeting at low or no cost, allowing you to find the right fit for your situation. With the right mediator and a commitment to the process, you can navigate your divorce with dignity, fairness, and financial wisdom.
Take Control of Your Future
Looking to explore your divorce options including mediation? Berni Stevens, an experienced mediator, divorce coach, and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA), supports clients in mediation, collaborative divorce, and litigation.
Once upon a time, in the land of Breakupsburg, there lived three divorce options: Papa Bear Litigation (too hot), Mama Bear Mediation (too cold), and Baby Bear Collaborative Divorce. Let’s explore why collaborative divorce might be the bowl of porridge that’s just right for many couples.
Not Too Adversarial, Not Too Kumbaya
Collaborative divorce strikes a balance between the formality of litigation and the informality of mediation. You get legal representation without declaring all-out war. It’s like having a peace treaty and a battle plan at the same time.
Support That’s Just Right
Unlike litigation (where you might feel like a spectator in your own divorce) or mediation (where you might feel under-supported), collaborative divorce gives you a team of professionals without overwhelming you. It’s like having a personal cheering squad, but they all have advanced degrees.
A Structure That Fits
More structured than mediation, but more flexible than litigation, collaborative divorce offers a “just right” process for many couples. It’s like having a map for your journey, but you can still take scenic detours if needed.
The Right Amount of Expertise
You get the financial and child expertise you need, without the overkill of multiple court-appointed experts. It’s like having a Swiss Army knife instead of an entire toolshed – just the right tools for the job.
Pace That’s Not Too Fast, Not Too Slow
Move faster than litigation allows, but take more time than mediation might to really work through issues. It’s like a divorce slow cooker – it takes time, but the results are worth it.
Communication That’s Just Right
More supported than the direct negotiations in mediation, but less adversarial than communication through litigation. It’s like having a translator for those times when you and your ex seem to be speaking different languages.
A Future Focus That Fits
Unlike litigation (which looks mainly at the past and present) or mediation (which might not have the tools to plan extensively), collaborative divorce helps you create a vision for your post-divorce life that’s just right. It’s like having a GPS for your future, not just a rearview mirror.
Why Collaborative Divorce Might Be Your Goldilocks Solution
It’s Flexible: Like Goldilocks trying out different chairs, collaborative divorce allows you to customize the process to fit your needs.
It’s Balanced: Not too hard, not too soft – it strikes the right balance between protecting your interests and promoting cooperation.
It’s Supported: You have a team of experts, like Goldilocks had the three bears (except your team won’t chase you out of the house).
It’s Forward-Looking: While addressing your current issues, it also helps you plan for a future that’s “just right.”
It’s Comprehensive: Like a perfect bowl of porridge, it has all the ingredients you need for a satisfying resolution.
Remember, like Goldilocks, you might need to try a few approaches before you find the one that’s just right. But for many couples, collaborative divorce offers that perfect middle ground – not too hard, not too soft, but just right for moving forward into your new life.
So, if you’re looking for a divorce option that’s not too hot, not too cold, but just right, collaborative divorce might be your Goldilocks solution. It might not come with a fairy tale ending, but it could help you write a pretty good “happily ever after” for your post-divorce life.
Take Control of Your Future
Looking to explore your divorce options including mediation? Berni Stevens, an experienced mediator, divorce coach, and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA), supports clients in mediation, collaborative divorce, and litigation.
When it comes to divorce, dividing assets can feel overwhelming. It’s also often more complicated than simply deciding who gets the dog (though let’s face it, belly rubs do go a long way!). For many couples, the process of dividing assets brings up important questions. For example: What counts as marital versus separate property? And how do you fairly value pensions, estates, or other high-value assets? These are critical decisions that will ultimately shape your financial future, so they require a well-informed and thoughtful approach.
At TruNorth Divorce, we specialize in guiding you through this complex process. Our comprehensive services include divorce financial analysis, mediation, and collaborative divorce, each one focused on making sure that asset division is handled with the utmost expertise and fairness. Whether you’re managing high-net-worth estates or working through the intricate details of a tax-optimized settlement, we’re here to help make these challenging decisions easier. We want both parties to benefit from fair and balanced outcomes, so you can focus on moving forward.
Take Control of Your Future
If you’re beginning to explore your divorce options, including mediation, TruNorth’s Berni Stevens is ready to support you at every step. As an experienced mediator, divorce coach, and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA), Berni provides invaluable expertise in mediation, collaborative divorce, and litigation. Her mission is to empower clients to make confident decisions that serve their best interests throughout the divorce journey.
Schedule Your Complimentary Divorce Strategy Session Today!
Taking control of your financial future can start with a single step. Set up a free Divorce Strategy Session with us today, and let’s work together to clarify your next steps.
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