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5 Interview Questions for a Divorce Mediator in Annapolis

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 So, you’ve decided to seek a mediation for your divorce, and you’re exploring local options. With emotions running high, picking a divorce mediator in Annapolis can seem like a daunting task. The professional you decide to work with needs to hold a level of your trust—after all, they will be helping you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse navigate the murky waters of divorce.

Choosing a mediator that fits your needs is a careful decision, it’s a good idea to do your homework ahead of time. Thinking about the types of things you might ask a professional mediator before you make the decision to commit to one is a good way to prep for an initial consultation. TruNorth Divorce Solutions has put together a quick list of questions that you might want to ask your prospective mediator.

1.     How do you define success? How do you facilitate this during the mediation process?

This is a great question to ask during your initial meeting with a professional divorce mediator because odds are that this is the first time you’ve sought out a divorce mediation and are unsure about how the process works. Mediation is a collaborative effort between you, your ex, and the mediator you choose to work with.

It’s important to outline expectations before the mediation process begins, and this question can really flush out some of those expectations. Ideally, you want to work towards a divorce settlement that both parties are happy with. Your prospective mediator may go into detail about their strengths and what they bring to the negotiation table.

 

2.     What is your success rate?

This is a great follow up question to ask in tandem with how your mediator defines success. The answer to this question can provide some much-needed confidence and really influence your choice.

The mediator will probably touch on the depth of their experience in the industry and how many divorcing couples they have worked with. They might also have some metrics (i.e., that they have successfully mediated XX divorces in the Annapolis area for X years) of success to share with you that reflect their professional expertise. They may even share some relevant anecdotes.

 

3.     How much does mediation cost?

Ah, the price tag. An important question. Make sure to get these details during your initial consultation. Your mediator may bill hourly or have a flat rate mediation fee. While one divorce mediator in Annapolis may charge $1000 an hour for their services another may have a flat rate fee for services of $7000. Don’t make assumptions and ask for rates up front.

Remember, price isn’t always the main consideration behind choosing a mediator and shouldn’t necessarily deter you. While it is important to stay on budget, you should also consider the level of skill and expertise that the mediator has to offer.

 

4.     How long is each mediation session/how long does mediation typically last?

Another great question to ask your divorce mediator is how long each session will last and how long the process takes overall. These questions can be particularly salient if your mediator bills by the hour. 

 The answer to this question also gives you an idea of how much time you will need to carve out of your schedule for the mediation process. You can also ask about whether your mediator holds private sessions (depending on your circumstances) and other questions surrounding the level of commitment expected of you.

5.      What do your services include?

Being unfamiliar with mediation, you probably want to ask about what is included with their services. Is the mediator drafting up divorce settlement documents for you? Will they be filing them on your behalf? Will you have to pay additional court costs or those included? Asking this question up front will help give you a clear picture of what to expect of your mediator. 

Any reputable mediator would welcome these questions during your consultation, so you shouldn’t hesitate to ask. Looking for a divorce mediator in the Annapolis area? Contact TruNorth Divorce Solutions for a free divorce strategy session. 

 

 

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Three Ways to Keep Divorce from Wrecking Your Retirement

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While retirement might not be in the forefront of your mind during a divorce, it’s something that needs to be considered, especially if your facing a “gray divorce.” Divorce can have a profound impact on your retirement savings and financial future. Depending on the circumstances of your split, you may see your retirement prospects change dramatically.

So, how do you keep a divorce from wrecking your retirement? TruNorth Divorce has put together a list of three things to best protect your retirement.

1. Work with the right divorce professional

Work with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) or a CDFA®-Mediator. CDFA®’s are experts at divorce finance and know how to preserve your retirement. They understand how taxes work with various kinds of assets and how to value a pension. They can predict the tax consequences of transfers between spouses, and help to ensure your retirement moneys will be properly transferred between spouses.

Lawyers do not have this expertise! At TruNorth Divorce our mediators and advocates are not just expert mediators, they are also CDFA’s and trained divorce coaches. The law is typically a non-issue in most divorces—most divorces don’t need to be processed through the legal system. Your settlement agreement, custody agreement, and divorce filings will always be legally compliant and the quality of your divorce far better when you work with TruNorth Divorce than if you work with an attorney alone.

2. Consider the tax implications of your settlement agreement

Not all assets are treated the same by the IRS. Equity in a house isn’t taxed up to $250,000 per spouse (assuming there are no other prior real estate rollovers pre-1997). Withdrawals from an IRA are taxed at your marginal tax rate. Big difference. Likewise, joint funds in brokerage accounts can be subject to capital gains taxes.

Also, the division of retirement account assets during a divorce, specifically, can have unique tax implications and governing regulations. It’s important to look at the particulars of each account and determine its actual after-tax value. A Roth IRA with $50,000 sitting in it is worth more than a 401(k) with the same amount of money. A pension distribution of $50,000, too, will be treated differently tax-wise.

3. Make sure you have a properly executed Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)

The Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1974 protects retirement assets in 401(k), 403(b), and Thrift Savings Plans for federal employees and military personnel. For these plans, you will need to draft a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) so that the asset split becomes legal and for retirement plan administrators to accept and execute it.

A QDRO endorsed by a judge and executed properly provides a means to roll over a portion of a qualified retirement plan without penalty, tax-free. Depending on the circumstances, you may choose to continue contributing to the retirement plan. You could also roll it over into a Roth IRA through a trustee transfer. You can even take penalty-free withdrawals from transferred qualified retirement plans when they are handled within a QDRO—very helpful if you need some extra cash for a house down payment or to retire debt. Without a well-drafted QDRO you could wait years for your retirement account transfer.

Taking the proper steps to accurately assess your retirement assets during a divorce will put the right financial foot forward as you wipe the slate clean and retake sole ownership of your assets. For more post-divorce budgeting tips and all topics divorce, visit our blogsite.

Reach out to a divorce mediator in Maryland if you want a kinder, smarter, and more affordable divorce. If you’re on the fence and you have a list of concerns related to your divorce, don’t hesitate to Schedule a Free Strategy Session to go over your options. 

 

 

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3 Key Things to Look for in a Divorce Mediator in Pennsylvania

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Getting a divorce is certainly not the best of times and should be a last resort to solving marital conflict. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things just don’t work and it’s important to accept that and move forward. If you find yourself searching for a “divorce mediator near me,” then you’re in luck. Using mediation can eliminate a lot of the stress, strife, and expense from the divorce process and help both parties get a satisfying outcome.  

As divorce mediators in PA, we know how to bring clarity and calm to these situations. However, when you’re seeking out a divorce mediator in Pennsylvania, there are going to be a few things to look for in a qualified professional: 
 

    1. Expertise. Before you secure divorce mediation in PA, ensure that the person you hire has the right qualifications required to be your mediator. She should be skilled in all areas of divorce–legal, financial, and emotional and be able to expertly guide you and your spouse to a solution that you’ll feel good about now and for years to come. A CDFA-Mediator may be your best choice.

        

    2. Experience. A highly-experienced professional can make all the difference. Any divorce mediator in PA you seek out should have a good number of years working with divorcing couples. When you talk to a potential mediator, ask her about her success rate and what’s made her effective.

        

    3. Demeanor. Divorce is an emotional roller-coaster and “divorce brain” can make it hard to make good decisions. You should look for a divorce mediator in PA who has the training and personal style that is helpful when working with a couple where one or both of the spouses is experiencing confusion, shock, anger, resentment, sadness, and more.  

      If you’re looking for a divorce mediator in Pennsylvania, then you should call our       PA Office for TruNorth Divorce Solutions or Schedule a Free Strategy Session to get help you determine if mediation is right for your divoce and gain tips on how to approach mediation successfully. 

TruNorth Divorce provides expert divorce mediation and guidance to individuals and couples considering divorce. Their mediators are not only experienced mediators who are highly knowledgeable about divorce law and procedure, they are also trained as divorce coaches and are Certified Divorce Financial Analyst CDFA® professionals who specialize in divorce financial issues. This powerful combination allows them to address each of the dimensions of divorce–legal, financial, and emotional–leading their clients to a better and brighter future that has taken all their needs into account.

 

 

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Should You Hire a Divorce Attorney or Divorce Mediator?

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Deciding to get a divorce is a very difficult decision and not one to be made lightly. There are many things you will need to consider, starting with these 7 points. Once you think you want to move ahead, who do you call? Most think to call a lawyer, which most often leads to the traditional path to a divorce. While there are times you will need to have a lawyer  litigate your divorce in court, it should be one of the last options you choose. Do you need a divorce lawyer or divorce mediator?

The reality is that the vast majority of divorces should not be handled within the court system. Today, many choose a constructive divorce process that facilitates a more positive future rather than one that tears them down. At the top of the list of constructive divorce processes is mediation. 

Let’s look more closely at the differences between working with a litigating divorce attorney and a professional divorce mediator.

What is Litigation with a Divorce Lawyer

The court-centered, traditional divorce process is where each party gets a divorce attorney and then battles it out in the courts with petitions, hearings, mandated conferences, and maybe even a full-blown trial. This is a relatively costly, slow, and divisive process. 

Attorneys are trained to be adversarial and most divorce attorneys charge an hourly rate of $350 or higher. They are incentivized to spend more time working through the details of court filings, support, property division, and custody. and divorce settlement agreement. When you have two attorneys discussing the minutiae of your divorce and arguing in court, the couple may be paying well over $700 an hour! It’s no wonder that many litigated divorces cost $40,000 and sometimes significantly more.

What is a Divorce Mediator

Divorce mediation is the first of the constructive divorce processes you’ll want to consider. It’s expert-guided, relatively fast and inexpensive and it allows the couple to control their futures and privacy. Mediation is a process where both parties want to resolve their issues and come to an agreement together about custody and the parenting plan, child support, alimony, and property division. A mediator doesn’t make decisions but they assist through a variety of methods including education, financial analysis, conflict resolution, best practices, etc. 

Divorce mediation is a good choice for those who want a gentler divorce that will allow them to keep more of their money and dignity. The couple doesn’t have to be amicable, they just have to be willing to negotiate in good faith. One thing for sure, their long-term relationship will be much better if they can work through mediation rather than the courts. This is especially valuable for parents who will be interacting throughout their children’s lives but important for anyone’s future well-being and peace. 

A divorce mediator can be a lawyer, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) or other appropriately trained individual. Be sure you understand the differences in your alternatives and which would be best suited for your case. The decision of choosing a divorce attorney or a divorce mediator is a personal one.

If you need some help figuring out which approach would be best for you, get in touch with TruNorth Divorce and ask for a Free Divorce Strategy Session to explore your options. They specialize in providing expert divorce mediation advice to individuals and couples considering divorce. They are certified divorce financial analysts and trained divorce coaches who specialize in helping divorcing individuals and couples get their best possible outcome.

 

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Checklist for Getting Your Best Divorce Settlement

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Knowing that you got your best divorce settlement means you’ve considered a lot of things that aren’t necessarily on an attorney’s radar or within the realm of his capabilities. There are many mistakes that can be made. Here’s a list of items that you should include when putting together your divorce settlement agreement. A CDFA® divorce financial planner or mediator is your best resource for ensuring you and your spouse are agreeing on a settlement that is fair and strategically planned for an optimal outcome.

 

ITEM WHY IT’S IMPORTANT CONSIDERATIONS
Proper identification of marital and separate property You split marital assets but keep your own separate property. It’s not always clear about what constitutes marital property. Co-mingling of funds, growth on real estate and owned businesses may have an impact on the amount to be divided. A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) can conduct a separate property tracing to determine what is marital and what is separate.
Assessment of tax implications No all assets are treated the same with respect to taxes. Trading assets of equal value but different tax treatments can have a huge impact on long-term financial health. What are the applicable tax classifications for retirement funds vs. real estate vs. stock options, etc.?
Consideration for both short- and long-term financial implications Alimony, child support, and how you split assets can result in substantial differences in long-term financial health even when the short-term needs are met and the division of assets looks fair. It’s important that you look at the impact of the divorce on near-term as well as future financial health. A CDFA can provide financial projections for both spouses before they agree on a particular settlement.
Provision for allowing spouse to remain in marital home under adverse financial circumstances Sometimes one spouse wants to continue to live in the marital home but can’t re-finance it on their own. Maybe, too, the house is “under water” and can only be sold as a short sale or foreclosed. Additionally, there are capital gains tax exclusions considerations to consider when transferring ownership to one spouse. There are some clever ways of handling the marital home to allow one spouse to continue living in the property for a period of time without the other losing out.
Accurate valuation and division of pensions Many misunderstand what figures to use for division of a pension. Pensions are subject to a coverture fraction, accurate identification of payout amounts, cost-of-living increases, and the appropriate discount rate.
Streamlining of asset division Simplify administrative and legal follow-up Sometimes it’s better to leave a pension, other retirement account, or business owned whole and aligned with just one of the spouses. Other assets or structured notes can be used to avoid selling assets or dealing with Qualified Domestic Relations Orders (QDRO’s).
Treatment of employee bonuses and other non-cash benefits Executives and business owners may receive a large portion of their compensation in the form of bonuses, stock, car allowances, and other benefits that don’t readily show up as income or assets. It’s important to thoroughly review employee agreements for executives and accounting records for business owners.
Proper accounting of stock options and restricted stock units (RSU’s) Employee stock options earned while married are a marital asset whether or not paid before separation or divorce. Determining the marital portion, vesting, and valuation of stock options and RSU’s is complicated and best left to financial specialists.
Option for alimony buyout Nobody likes alimony. Alimony payments are painful to the obligor and uncertain to the obligee. Why not just determine the present value of the future payments and include it in the division of assets?
Accurate identification of separation date The separation date can have substantial impact on valuation of assets. Is it the date the divorce complaint is filed, the spouses started living in separate bedrooms, or something else? What if there is a temporary reconciliation?
Optimizing filing status and deductions The difference between filing single vs. head of household can make a big difference in tax payments. Under shared custody arrangements, child exemptions can be rotated to allow both parents to file as head of household.
Protection of future alimony and child support with life insurance If a buyout isn’t possible, the oblige should have protection is something happens to the obligor. Obtain insurance protection that you know won’t be cancelled.
Inclusion of a detailed parenting plan Even if you and  spouse fundamentally agree on custody and how to raise the children, there may come a time when circumstances change or there is a difference of opinion. Parenting plans that address a wide array of issues should be included in a property settlement agreement to protect the children and both parents.
Impact on future college financial aid for the children Custody decisions and child support can have implications for college financial aid. One should consider how settlement decisions might affect future financial aid to pay for college expenses. 529 plans should be managed so they have minimal impact on financial aid awards.
Assurance that all assets have been accounted for Are there any suspicions that one spouse has been “preparing” for the divorce and diverting assets? Consider the use of a forensics specialist to examine financial records for hidden assets.
Accurate business valuations There are a variety of ways to value businesses in divorce, some more expensive and time-consuming than others. Make sure you have an accurate valuation of businesses owned before settlement options are reviewed.
Timing of divorce on Social Security Timing of divorce can impact future social security payments. You may want to delay your divorce to optimize future social security.
Identify follow-up tasks to ensure compliance It’s not time to rest when the property settlement has been filed and the final divorce decree is received. Follow-up is essential to obtaining and protecting rights to assets. Insurance, QDRO’s, quit-claim deeds, beneficiaries, and more need to be handled after a divorce. Make sure you get a comprehensive list of what still needs to be done once your divorce is final.

 

 

 

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