SEVEN THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU DIVORCE
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Are you considering divorce but dread the thought of courtroom drama? There’s another approach besides mediation that you may want to consider. Let’s dive in to explore!
Many couples consider the possibility of mediation before engaging in divisive litigation. But what if mediation doesn’t seem just right? You can still divorce your spouse without divorcing your bank account or your sanity. Think of collaborative divorce as like a divorce party where everyone’s invited – you, your soon-to-be-ex, a couple of lawyers, and a team of professionals who aren’t there to judge you (unlike your in-laws).
Think of it as putting together an all-star lineup for Team Amicable Separation. Here’s who you’ll have in your corner:
You’re the main characters in this divorce story. Your job? Try to keep it from turning into a tale of woe.
In collaborative divorce, you’re not just hiring a lawyer – you’re assembling a team of professionals to guide you through the process. Let’s take a closer look at each team member and their crucial roles:
Think of them as your legal navigators and negotiators-in-chief.
Remember, unlike in litigation, these attorneys are committed to finding mutually beneficial solutions, not “winning” at all costs.
This financial guru is like a treasure map reader for your assets and debts.
Consider them your emotional Sherpas, guiding you through the psychological terrain of divorce.
These are your special ops team, brought in for specific missions.
Imagine all these professionals as a well-oiled machine, each part working in harmony:
The beauty of this team approach is that it addresses all aspects of your divorce – legal, financial, emotional, and parental – in an integrated way. It’s like having a personal board of directors for your divorce, all working towards the common goal of a fair and sustainable agreement.
Remember, while this team might seem like a lot, they’re all there to make the process smoother, more efficient, and ultimately more beneficial for everyone involved. It’s not just about ending your marriage; it’s about setting you up for success in your post-divorce life.
Collaborative divorce works best if you and your ex can still be in the same room without reenacting famous feuds. If you’re more “mortal enemies” than “amicable exes,” traditional litigation might be your only option.
Remember, divorce doesn’t have to be a battle where the only winners are the lawyers. With collaborative divorce, you can split up and still split a pizza afterward. It’s not just a divorce; it’s a divorce with a silver lining!
So, if you’re looking for a kinder, gentler way to say goodbye to your marriage, collaborative divorce might just be your ticket to a smoother split. Who knows? You might even remain on speaking terms with your ex. On a personal note, my ex and I continue to share major holidays and celebrations with our children—over twenty-five years after the divorce! It may not seem conceivable now, but an amicable divorce can lay the groundwork for a united family in the future.
Looking to explore your divorce options including mediation? Berni Stevens, an experienced mediator, divorce coach, and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA), supports clients in mediation, collaborative divorce, and litigation.
Schedule Your Complimentary Divorce Strategy Session Today!
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Did you know that there are basically three kinds of divorce mediators? There are lawyer mediators, therapist mediators, and financial mediators.
Most people new to divorce think first of lawyer mediators. Lawyers are experts at navigating divorce through the courts: filing petitions, presenting at hearings, filing motions, and arguing cases before hearing officers and judges. If you’re meditating your divorce, though, there isn’t much that a lawyer can bring to the table other than knowledge of the filing procedure and state guidelines and these are readily available to all. Lawyers aren’t allowed to provide the couple with legal advice, either. Regardless of your choice in mediators, it’s a good idea to hire an attorney as a consultant to get legal advice and review your settlement agreement before signing.
Second, therapist mediators are specially trained in various mental health areas and are useful as divorce mediators when there are special circumstances, e.g., complex custody issues or personality disorders. They do not possess financial expertise, nor can they help with legal documents or divorce processing. On the other hand, you may want to utilize a divorce coach to help you stay on track throughout the divorce process and be more effective in your negotiations.
Financial mediators, specifically Certified Divorce Financial Analysts® or CDFA-mediators, bring divorce financial expertise to the table, helping couples determine an optimal divorce settlement. They can provide the couple with financial advice that neither lawyers nor therapists are equipped to do. Working with a financial mediator facilitates:
So be aware that there is more than one type of mediator option and that your first leaning may not be the best choice for your situation. Book a complimentary, private consultation to learn more.
A couple’s finances constitute a large component of their divorce and can bring significant anxiety and stress. Most wonder how support will be determined, how marital property should be divided, whether they’ll have to divide their pensions or retirement accounts, and more. Unlike any other divorce professional, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) is uniquely equipped to address these issues.
A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst is a professional equipped with specialized knowledge in financial matters related to divorce. These experts undergo rigorous training and examination to earn their certification, making them well-versed in the intricacies of divorce finances.
CDFA’s help individuals and couples determine an optimal financial settlement agreement that helps answer the questions “will I have enough to pay my bills after the divorce” and “in the future, will I have sufficient net worth to meet my longer term objectives?” Assets are not all alike and shouldn’t necessarily be split 50/50 down the middle. Assets may be a mix of marital (subject to division) and separate, they have varying tax consequences, impact on cash flow, and rates of return. Thus, optimal settlements take into account taxes (income and capital gains), accurate valuations, and determination of what is marital vs. separate, and the short-term impact on cash flow, as well as the longer-term impact on future wealth.
A CDFA can also help determine the right level of child support and alimony needed for the lesser-earning spouse to meet their post-divorce budgets. In most states, child support is based on state legislature guidelines based on the parents’ incomes, but they are just guidelines and only provide minimums. Alimony is a subjective determination based on a variety of factors including age, earning potential, and likelihood of future inheritances.
A CDFA empowers individuals to make informed financial decisions, avoid common pitfalls, and ultimately secure a more stable and equitable post-divorce future post-divorce. Let’s look more closely at some of the benefits of working with a CDFA.
In essence, the CDFA acts as a financial compass during the divorce process, steering individuals and couples towards informed choices that guide them toward their future true north. This clarity goes beyond a mere snapshot; it extends to a detailed examination of their short and long-term priorities and goals along with an exploration of assets, debts, income streams, and potential future financial scenarios.
A CDFA’s focus on long-term financial planning is a forward-looking approach that transcends the turbulence of divorce proceedings. It ensures that clients not only secure a fair divorce settlement but also position themselves for a stable and prosperous financial future, laying the groundwork for a new chapter with confidence and foresight.
Cash flow is typically an immediate concern and a significant source of anxiety. So, the first step is to get a snapshot of the current financial situation, including current spending. From there, the CDFA helps clients build a post-divorce budget based on their specific objectives and priorities. Next comes identifying future financial goals, e.g., buying a house, funding children’s or grandchildren’s educations, and retirement. We are then able to look at how various support and marital property division scenarios will affect their ability to meet these goals. The outcome of these exercises allows divorcing individuals and couples to make informed settlement decisions. Lawyers, judges, and courts don’t provide that kind of information and blind settlement decisions lead to lost opportunities and highly consequential financial mistakes.
The Certified Divorce Financial Analyst’s role in asset protection becomes a linchpin in fostering financial resilience and ensuring that clients can embark on the next chapter of their lives with a robust and safeguarded financial foundation. Most divorcing couples avoid the possibility that alimony and child support could terminate upon the provider’s incapacitation or death. CDFA’s will work with you to determine if an alimony buyout will be in your best interests and examine such safeguards as purchasing life and disability insurance or establishing a trust for the children to reduce the risk of a financially catastrophic event.
Here’s a detailed example to illustrate the potential mistake of opting for periodic alimony payments over a one-time alimony buyout.
If Spouse B opts for the alimony buyout and invests the $250,000 lump sum with an average annual return of 5%, after 10 years, this investment could grow to approximately $407,224. This amount significantly exceeds the total of $360,000 that would be received from periodic payments.
Investment Growth: The lump sum investment option potentially offers Spouse B a higher total return, assuming an average annual return of 5%.
There are many costly mistakes that can be avoided by working with a CDFA.
One of the most common financial mistakes that divorcing individuals make is keeping the marital home because of emotional attachment and/or desire to keep the children in the same neighborhood or school district. Keeping the house, though, can have serious financial consequences. Many do not anticipate the real cost of maintaining a house, e.g., unexpected repairs, taxes, or homeowners’ association assessments, the increased cost of a mortgage after refinancing, or they don’t fully appreciate the impact of foregoing the proceeds of the sale of the house.
Spouse A decides to keep the marital home, while Spouse B takes the retirement account and half of the savings ($100,000).
Spouse A assumes the mortgage, taking full responsibility for the remaining $300,000 debt.
With a CDFA ‘s guidance, individuals will be guided to accurately estimate future expenses and assess the impact on longer-term financial health.
Another example of a mistake that can be avoided is treating all assets as essentially the same. Many couples strive for a 50/50 division of their assets but are they really dividing things equally? Not all assets (and debts) are created equally. Assets are taxed differently, have varying growth returns, and impact on liquidity. Consider this situation where the property division doesn’t consider taxes:
Total Assets: Let’s assume the couple has a total asset pool of $1 million, which includes a house valued at $500,000, a stock portfolio worth $300,000, and savings of $200,000.
Fairness: The division might seem equal in terms of gross value, but after considering taxes on the sale of assets, one of these spouses will likely end up with significantly less net value
When you consider divorce, or if you know someone who is contemplating divorce, one of the biggest realities for those in the divorce process is the financial settlement and financial analysis post-divorce. Get the assistance of Berni Stevens, a Mediator, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®), and divorce coach.
Berni provides step-by-step guidance on matters related to divorce. With a wide range of experience and expertise related to divorce issues, Berni will simplify the process and provide much-needed clarity in areas such as long-term tax consequences, asset, and debt analysis, dividing pension plans, continued health care coverage, stock option elections, protecting support with life insurance, and much more. She can also guide you through building an effective parenting plan, and getting your divorce processed through the court.
Divorce is expensive even without mistakes and getting comprehensive guidance on divorce financial planning is critical. Read on to learn of the top eleven most common financial mistakes made in divorce.
What’s considered marital property and subject to division? Most will say that any comingling of assets (e.g., depositing the funds in a joint account or using marital funds to pay the mortgage) constitutes an asset as marital. And in some states and counties, even if a portion of an asset that was separate on the date of marriage will, over the years, transition to marital. This can impact considerations of real estate, retirement, inheritances, and more.
Too often, lawyers, hearing officers, and judges take the easy way out by forcing division of each asset equally. Why? It’s easy and not easily challenged. This approach, though, fails to consider the needs and wants of each spouse, as well as the tax consequences of and administrative effort in dividing each asset.
No one likes alimony. Payors hate writing the check and the recipient hates depending on it. Plus, if the payor dies or is disabled, the payments stop (an example of why insurance is important post-divorce). Instead, if there are sufficient assets to cover it, calculate the present value of the stream of anticipated payments at an appropriate discount rate and build it into the division of assets.
If there’s one financial topic that befuddles many, it’s how to treat deferred compensation, including stock options, both qualified and not qualified, as well as restricted stock and restricted stock units. Are they marital or separate? Are they based on past or future performance? Can they be transferred to a spouse/former spouse? What is the correct valuation method: intrinsic value, Black-Scholes, or the binomial method? How are taxes accounted for?
Given the opportunity and motive, many a spouse will start stashing away funds in anticipation of a divorce, whether for financial security, sense of ownership, or vindication. Tax returns, W-2’s, credit card statements, and bank account statements are all sources to identify diverted funds. Even when not suspected by a client spouse, a quick review of these documents may reveal otherwise unidentified assets.
What if a spouse wants to keep the house for and can’t get approval for a mortgage buyout? It’s easy to just say “sell” and move on, but there are ways to facilitate the desire of a spouse who wants to remain in the home for a period without undue legal or financial burden to the co-owner spouse. As another example, maybe retirement funds are of utmost concern and alimony/cash flow not so much? A skilled divorce financial expert will come up with alternative settlement options to address the unique needs of each spouse.
Retirement plans, and especially pensions, are widely misunderstood in divorce. The one who’s name is on the retirement plan thinks they are the rightful owners. Some incorrectly think the “current value” on a pension statement is the value of the pension. Pensions of all kinds, and especially military and federal pensions, require an expert for valuation and drafting of appropriate orders for submission to the custodian.
All assets are not alike when it comes to splitting them in divorce. $250,000 in a 401k is not the same as $250,000 of equity in a house. The former is taxed at an ordinary income tax rate upon withdrawal while the latter may be largely excluded from any taxation and otherwise taxed at the capital gains rate.
The marital home is an asset laden with emotion and sentimentality. It’s common to want to keep the house for emotional stability without consideration of the impact on future financial health. Houses don’t necessarily appreciate significantly over time, maintenance expenses are often overlooked or discounted, and a house is not a liquid asset. An objective evaluation is critical before deciding to keep or sell the marital home.
If a spouse owns a business, is it a source of income, an asset to be valued and divided, or both? If a source of income, do we just look at the tax returns for the business? If to be valued, do you pay a business valuation expert thousands of dollars to get an accurate figure? Get the advice of a divorce financial expert is necessary if one of the spouses owns a business.
Do you have a good hold on where your money goes? Have you really assessed how much you will need post-divorce? Your choice in divorce settlement options needs to be balanced between short-term cash flow needs and long-term net worth.
Work with a qualified divorce financial professional, i.e., a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) to help you avoid costly mistakes in divorce. You only get one chance to get it right.
When you consider divorce, or if you know someone who is contemplating divorce, one of the biggest realities for those in the divorce process is the financial settlement and financial analysis post-divorce. Get the assistance of Berni Stevens, a Mediator and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®.)
Berni provides step-by-step guidance on matters related to divorce. With a wide range of experience and expertise related to divorce issues, Berni will simplify the process and provide much-needed clarity in areas such as long-term tax consequences, asset, and debt analysis, dividing pension plans, continued health care coverage, stock option elections, protecting support with life insurance, and much more.
Every divorce has a price tag—filing fees, divorce attorney or mediator fees, and other court-related expenses total up quicker than you might think. So, what is the price to pay for peace? The answer to this question largely depends on how you go about getting divorced.
What can you do to keep divorce costs down? TruNorth Divorce Solutions sheds some insight into the true cost of divorce and provides some pointers to help you avoid breaking the bank.
Divorce is never one-size-fits-all—no two are the same. But while the nitty gritty details vary by situation, there are a few common factors that draw out the process and drive costs up.
Contested divorces are usually rooted with irreconcilable conflicts and tough emotions, and this really complicates the divorce process. Generally, these types of divorces go to court to be settled because resolving things amicably through cooperative efforts is next to impossible.
What does this have to do with the cost of your divorce? Time spent is the answer. The divorce process is essentially a negotiation and when an agreement can’t be easily reached, the time of divorce attorneys, the court and its officials, other family law professionals is enlisted to help arrive at a divorce settlement agreement.
The cost to formally file for divorce through the court varies by state. In the state of Maryland, for example, the average cost to file with the court is $185 (if you hire an attorney; $165 if you are representing yourself—although this is not generally advised if you have joint assets). There are other costs associated with serving your ex with an official decree of divorce.
Things can snowball quickly in a contested divorce because it’s hard to reach an agreement. Court appearances, responding to motions, filing paperwork, and the cost of the time of the professionals involved during the process all add a divorce’s overall price tag.
One of the biggest expenses in any divorce are attorney fees—hourly rates for family law attorneys can be pricey. According to Bankrate, the average cost of a US divorce is around $15,000. Divorce lawyers generally bill for your initial consultation and then establish an hourly rate going forward.
It’s important to familiarize yourself with the services your lawyer provides, and it’s also a good idea to have them disclose billing practices up front so that there aren’t any surprises down the road. Never go in blind.
Pro-tip: Picking up legwork by getting paperwork and relevant account statements together can help you save on billable hours. Being organizationally savvy and providing an accurate and clear picture of your finances can end up saving you a good chunk of change.
It’s not uncommon for separating couples seeking an uncontested divorce to enter private mediation instead of going through the court system—but how much does divorce mediation cost? According to Thumbtack, divorce mediation costs can range anywhere from $100 and $1000 an hour in the US and an overall cost anywhere between $3,500 and $7,500 (some mediators charge more for services than others and cost varies widely by state). Some professional mediators have an established fixed fee for their services.
Professional mediators who have financial and legal backgrounds can help speed up the divorce process and save you money. But remember, the best option isn’t always the most affordable option. Do some research and make sure you end up with a good fit.
Mediation may be an easier path to divorce, but is choosing to work with divorce mediator right for you? Choosing to work with a divorce mediator can save you a load of time, stress, and money. A professional divorce mediator possesses the expertise of a lawyer and may also bring a financial services background to the table.
While divorce is an expense, there is no reason to break the bank. Remember, with a little financial savviness and education, you can offset some of the cost. Want to explore whether divorce mediation is a good fit for you? Contact TruNorth Divorce Solutions for a free consultation.