Three Ways to Keep Divorce from Wrecking Your Retirement

by | Mar 29, 2021

While retirement might not be in the forefront of your mind during a divorce, it’s something that needs to be considered, especially if your facing a “gray divorce.” Divorce can have a profound impact on your retirement savings and financial future. Depending on the circumstances of your split, you may see your retirement prospects change dramatically.

So, how do you keep a divorce from wrecking your retirement? TruNorth Divorce has put together a list of three things to best protect your retirement.

1. Work with the right divorce professional

Work with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) or a CDFA®-Mediator. CDFA®’s are experts at divorce finance and know how to preserve your retirement. They understand how taxes work with various kinds of assets and how to value a pension. They can predict the tax consequences of transfers between spouses, and help to ensure your retirement moneys will be properly transferred between spouses.

Lawyers do not have this expertise! At TruNorth Divorce our mediators and advocates are not just expert mediators, they are also CDFA’s and trained divorce coaches. The law is typically a non-issue in most divorces—most divorces don’t need to be processed through the legal system. Your settlement agreement, custody agreement, and divorce filings will always be legally compliant and the quality of your divorce far better when you work with TruNorth Divorce than if you work with an attorney alone.

2. Consider the tax implications of your settlement agreement

Not all assets are treated the same by the IRS. Equity in a house isn’t taxed up to $250,000 per spouse (assuming there are no other prior real estate rollovers pre-1997). Withdrawals from an IRA are taxed at your marginal tax rate. Big difference. Likewise, joint funds in brokerage accounts can be subject to capital gains taxes.

Also, the division of retirement account assets during a divorce, specifically, can have unique tax implications and governing regulations. It’s important to look at the particulars of each account and determine its actual after-tax value. A Roth IRA with $50,000 sitting in it is worth more than a 401(k) with the same amount of money. A pension distribution of $50,000, too, will be treated differently tax-wise.

3. Make sure you have a properly executed Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)

The Employee Retirement Income Security Act of 1974 protects retirement assets in 401(k), 403(b), and Thrift Savings Plans for federal employees and military personnel. For these plans, you will need to draft a qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) so that the asset split becomes legal and for retirement plan administrators to accept and execute it.

A QDRO endorsed by a judge and executed properly provides a means to roll over a portion of a qualified retirement plan without penalty, tax-free. Depending on the circumstances, you may choose to continue contributing to the retirement plan. You could also roll it over into a Roth IRA through a trustee transfer. You can even take penalty-free withdrawals from transferred qualified retirement plans when they are handled within a QDRO—very helpful if you need some extra cash for a house down payment or to retire debt. Without a well-drafted QDRO you could wait years for your retirement account transfer.

Taking the proper steps to accurately assess your retirement assets during a divorce will put the right financial foot forward as you wipe the slate clean and retake sole ownership of your assets. For more post-divorce budgeting tips and all topics divorce, visit our blogsite.

Reach out to a divorce mediator in Maryland if you want a kinder, smarter, and more affordable divorce. If you’re on the fence and you have a list of concerns related to your divorce, don’t hesitate to Schedule a Free Strategy Session to go over your options. 

 

 

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Parenting Best Practices in Divorce

by | Feb 28, 2021

Parenting and co-parenting in divorce requires some special attention. None of us wants to bring harm to our own children but there are times when the best decision for everyone in the family is a divorce. While divorce presents its own set of issues to be worked through, it can also give each parent the opportunity to build a stronger relationship with their children and teach them about how to deal effectively with life’s difficult times.

Overall, parenting isn’t easy and this holds as true for married couples as it does for divorced ones. Divorce does, though, bring a new set of challenges. TruNorth Divorce has written before on parenting through divorce. In this piece we want to provide a short list of best practices to help divorcing and newly divorced couples navigate the unique issues that parenting as you transition from a single household to two separate ones.

1. Talk to Your Child(ren) About Your Decision to Divorce

Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own emotions that it’s hard to step outside of them and take the time to check in with our children. Talking to your kids about your decision to divorce can create a safe space in which you can help them better understand your choice, and it can provide them with a platform to express difficult emotions.

Divorce impacts the entire household, and it’s not an easy topic to broach when emotions are still raw. Opening a dialog with your children about your divorce in a neutral and calm way and allowing them to ask tough questions and to express their fears will help your children better accept your decision to divorce and work through their feeling about it in a healthy way.

2. Create a Coparenting Plan

How you decide to move forward with parenting after divorce can have a profound impact on family dynamics and your children. To a significant degree, consistency and harmony between their parents is key to children’s mental well-being in the future.

CustodyXChange.com helps parents build sound parenting plans. Per the experts behind CustodyXChange.com, here are some of the reasons why negotiating a parenting plan can benefit your children:

It allows you and the other parent to state your goals for your children

  • It sets up communication habits between you and the other parent
  • It states the legal consequences if one of you don’t keep to the plan
  • It results in a clear visitation schedule you can both refer to
  • It lessens tension between parents and children because the basic daily decisions are already established
  • It forces you to get familiar with divorce and custody laws in your state
  • It often reduces your legal fees when you don’t have it created by a third party

3. Don’t Put Your Children in the Middle

Make a good faith effort to put any hurt feelings aside and shift your attention to what’s best for your children. Establishing some good ground rules can help minimize the impact of your emotions and will help you focus on fostering healthy communication and collaboration. 

Using children as messengers, sharing negative feelings, and venting or speaking negatively about your ex-partner drags them into the middle of things. Any conflict or issues between you and your ex are just that—between you and your ex. Children want a solid relationship with both parents. Keeping these emotions out things will help you turn your attention to your children’s happiness and wellbeing.

4. Keep Lines of Communication Open

Communication is a substantial ingredient in the recipe for successful parenting, and it’s arguably even more important for divorced parents living separately but parenting together. While you are both full-time parents, the time spent with your children is now divided. Operating in silos can leave your coparent in the dark and create conflict—reiterating how important it is for coparents to be on the same page. The only way to ensure that is through open communication.

Discuss issues that crop up with your former spouse and do so as they arise. Don’t just enumerate the problems, fill your co-parent in on the positives too. Communication between households is crucial to maintaining a united parenting front and making sure that both parents are aware of what’s going on in their children’s lives. One resource you may consider to assist with effective communication is Our Family Wizard, an online custody and co-parenting app

There is no greater common ground between two individuals than the well-being of their children and divorce doesn’t change that. Hopefully, these post-divorce parenting practices can help you negotiate the murky waters of post-divorce coparenting. For more resources on all things divorce, explore our blog.

 

 

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Why You Need a Divorce Mediator in Maryland

by | Feb 15, 2021

Most of us feel overwhelmed and rather clueless about which direction to take once we conclude we’re going to get a divorce. Traditionally, the first move had been to call a lawyer but you should pause, take a breath, and then reach out to the right professional to get you going in the proper direction for you and your family.

 Other than a DIY divorce (unadvisable unless you have neither assets nor children), mediation is the least expensive and fastest way to get your divorce. A divorce negotiated through mediation will also help you preserve a civil relationship with your spouse, especially important if you have children, and always important for your self-esteem. If you live in Maryland (or any other state) you should first seek the help of a divorce mediator in Maryland to discuss whether this is a viable option for you. 

The Best Mediator for Your Maryland Divorce

Divorce impacts us emotionally and financially and must be processed within the confines of the law. It’s generally not a good idea to go through this process alone, especially when there are qualified professionals who can help guide you through the process and address each of the facets of divorce, not just legal. 

If you choose a divorce mediator in Maryland, identify an experienced moderator who has not only knowledge of Maryland divorce laws and procedures but also training in divorce financial and emotional issues. The mediators at TruNorth Divorce take a holistic perspective on divorce and are dually certified as divorce financial analysts and divorce coaches. They have also been extensively trained in divorce mediation, including how to process your divorce legally. Don’t expect your divorce lawyer-mediator to be  skilled in all of these areas–the reality is that attorneys aren’t trained in anything besides law and often don’t know what they don’t know. Consider adding in a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst CDFA® and divorce coach to your team if you go the lawyer route.

Reach out to a divorce mediator in Maryland if you want a kinder, smarter, and more affordable divorce. If you’re on the fence and you have a list of concerns related to your divorce, don’t hesitate to Schedule a Free Strategy Session to go over your options. 

 

 

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3 Key Things to Look for in a Divorce Mediator in Pennsylvania

by | Feb 12, 2021

Getting a divorce is certainly not the best of times and should be a last resort to solving marital conflict. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things just don’t work and it’s important to accept that and move forward. If you find yourself searching for a “divorce mediator near me,” then you’re in luck. Using mediation can eliminate a lot of the stress, strife, and expense from the divorce process and help both parties get a satisfying outcome.  

As divorce mediators in PA, we know how to bring clarity and calm to these situations. However, when you’re seeking out a divorce mediator in Pennsylvania, there are going to be a few things to look for in a qualified professional: 
 

    1. Expertise. Before you secure divorce mediation in PA, ensure that the person you hire has the right qualifications required to be your mediator. She should be skilled in all areas of divorce–legal, financial, and emotional and be able to expertly guide you and your spouse to a solution that you’ll feel good about now and for years to come. A CDFA-Mediator may be your best choice.

        

    2. Experience. A highly-experienced professional can make all the difference. Any divorce mediator in PA you seek out should have a good number of years working with divorcing couples. When you talk to a potential mediator, ask her about her success rate and what’s made her effective.

        

    3. Demeanor. Divorce is an emotional roller-coaster and “divorce brain” can make it hard to make good decisions. You should look for a divorce mediator in PA who has the training and personal style that is helpful when working with a couple where one or both of the spouses is experiencing confusion, shock, anger, resentment, sadness, and more.  

      If you’re looking for a divorce mediator in Pennsylvania, then you should call our       PA Office for TruNorth Divorce Solutions or Schedule a Free Strategy Session to get help you determine if mediation is right for your divoce and gain tips on how to approach mediation successfully. 

TruNorth Divorce provides expert divorce mediation and guidance to individuals and couples considering divorce. Their mediators are not only experienced mediators who are highly knowledgeable about divorce law and procedure, they are also trained as divorce coaches and are Certified Divorce Financial Analyst CDFA® professionals who specialize in divorce financial issues. This powerful combination allows them to address each of the dimensions of divorce–legal, financial, and emotional–leading their clients to a better and brighter future that has taken all their needs into account.

 

 

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Should You Hire a Divorce Attorney or Divorce Mediator?

by | Jan 11, 2021

Deciding to get a divorce is a very difficult decision and not one to be made lightly. There are many things you will need to consider, starting with these 7 points. Once you think you want to move ahead, who do you call? Most think to call a lawyer, which most often leads to the traditional path to a divorce. While there are times you will need to have a lawyer  litigate your divorce in court, it should be one of the last options you choose. Do you need a divorce lawyer or divorce mediator?

The reality is that the vast majority of divorces should not be handled within the court system. Today, many choose a constructive divorce process that facilitates a more positive future rather than one that tears them down. At the top of the list of constructive divorce processes is mediation. 

Let’s look more closely at the differences between working with a litigating divorce attorney and a professional divorce mediator.

What is Litigation with a Divorce Lawyer

The court-centered, traditional divorce process is where each party gets a divorce attorney and then battles it out in the courts with petitions, hearings, mandated conferences, and maybe even a full-blown trial. This is a relatively costly, slow, and divisive process. 

Attorneys are trained to be adversarial and most divorce attorneys charge an hourly rate of $350 or higher. They are incentivized to spend more time working through the details of court filings, support, property division, and custody. and divorce settlement agreement. When you have two attorneys discussing the minutiae of your divorce and arguing in court, the couple may be paying well over $700 an hour! It’s no wonder that many litigated divorces cost $40,000 and sometimes significantly more.

What is a Divorce Mediator

Divorce mediation is the first of the constructive divorce processes you’ll want to consider. It’s expert-guided, relatively fast and inexpensive and it allows the couple to control their futures and privacy. Mediation is a process where both parties want to resolve their issues and come to an agreement together about custody and the parenting plan, child support, alimony, and property division. A mediator doesn’t make decisions but they assist through a variety of methods including education, financial analysis, conflict resolution, best practices, etc. 

Divorce mediation is a good choice for those who want a gentler divorce that will allow them to keep more of their money and dignity. The couple doesn’t have to be amicable, they just have to be willing to negotiate in good faith. One thing for sure, their long-term relationship will be much better if they can work through mediation rather than the courts. This is especially valuable for parents who will be interacting throughout their children’s lives but important for anyone’s future well-being and peace. 

A divorce mediator can be a lawyer, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) or other appropriately trained individual. Be sure you understand the differences in your alternatives and which would be best suited for your case. The decision of choosing a divorce attorney or a divorce mediator is a personal one.

If you need some help figuring out which approach would be best for you, get in touch with TruNorth Divorce and ask for a Free Divorce Strategy Session to explore your options. They specialize in providing expert divorce mediation advice to individuals and couples considering divorce. They are certified divorce financial analysts and trained divorce coaches who specialize in helping divorcing individuals and couples get their best possible outcome.

 

Get A free Consultation

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484.321.6990

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