5 Interview Questions for a Divorce Mediator in Annapolis

by | May 25, 2021

 So, you’ve decided to seek a mediation for your divorce, and you’re exploring local options. With emotions running high, picking a divorce mediator in Annapolis can seem like a daunting task. The professional you decide to work with needs to hold a level of your trust—after all, they will be helping you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse navigate the murky waters of divorce.

Choosing a mediator that fits your needs is a careful decision, it’s a good idea to do your homework ahead of time. Thinking about the types of things you might ask a professional mediator before you make the decision to commit to one is a good way to prep for an initial consultation. TruNorth Divorce Solutions has put together a quick list of questions that you might want to ask your prospective mediator.

1.     How do you define success? How do you facilitate this during the mediation process?

This is a great question to ask during your initial meeting with a professional divorce mediator because odds are that this is the first time you’ve sought out a divorce mediation and are unsure about how the process works. Mediation is a collaborative effort between you, your ex, and the mediator you choose to work with.

It’s important to outline expectations before the mediation process begins, and this question can really flush out some of those expectations. Ideally, you want to work towards a divorce settlement that both parties are happy with. Your prospective mediator may go into detail about their strengths and what they bring to the negotiation table.

 

2.     What is your success rate?

This is a great follow up question to ask in tandem with how your mediator defines success. The answer to this question can provide some much-needed confidence and really influence your choice.

The mediator will probably touch on the depth of their experience in the industry and how many divorcing couples they have worked with. They might also have some metrics (i.e., that they have successfully mediated XX divorces in the Annapolis area for X years) of success to share with you that reflect their professional expertise. They may even share some relevant anecdotes.

 

3.     How much does mediation cost?

Ah, the price tag. An important question. Make sure to get these details during your initial consultation. Your mediator may bill hourly or have a flat rate mediation fee. While one divorce mediator in Annapolis may charge $1000 an hour for their services another may have a flat rate fee for services of $7000. Don’t make assumptions and ask for rates up front.

Remember, price isn’t always the main consideration behind choosing a mediator and shouldn’t necessarily deter you. While it is important to stay on budget, you should also consider the level of skill and expertise that the mediator has to offer.

 

4.     How long is each mediation session/how long does mediation typically last?

Another great question to ask your divorce mediator is how long each session will last and how long the process takes overall. These questions can be particularly salient if your mediator bills by the hour. 

 The answer to this question also gives you an idea of how much time you will need to carve out of your schedule for the mediation process. You can also ask about whether your mediator holds private sessions (depending on your circumstances) and other questions surrounding the level of commitment expected of you.

5.      What do your services include?

Being unfamiliar with mediation, you probably want to ask about what is included with their services. Is the mediator drafting up divorce settlement documents for you? Will they be filing them on your behalf? Will you have to pay additional court costs or those included? Asking this question up front will help give you a clear picture of what to expect of your mediator. 

Any reputable mediator would welcome these questions during your consultation, so you shouldn’t hesitate to ask. Looking for a divorce mediator in the Annapolis area? Contact TruNorth Divorce Solutions for a free divorce strategy session. 

 

 

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How Much Does Divorce Mediation Cost?

by | May 13, 2021

What is the Price of Peace?

Every divorce has a price tag—filing fees, divorce attorney or mediator fees, and other court-related expenses total up quicker than you might think. So, what is the price to pay for peace? The answer to this question largely depends on how you go about getting divorced.

What can you do to keep divorce costs down? TruNorth Divorce Solutions sheds some insight into the true cost of divorce and provides some pointers to help you avoid breaking the bank.

1. Why does divorce cost so much?

Divorce is never one-size-fits-all—no two are the same. But while the nitty gritty details vary by situation, there are a few common factors that draw out the process and drive costs up.

Contested divorces are usually rooted with irreconcilable conflicts and tough emotions, and this really complicates the divorce process. Generally, these types of divorces go to court to be settled because resolving things amicably through cooperative efforts is next to impossible.

What does this have to do with the cost of your divorce? Time spent is the answer. The divorce process is essentially a negotiation and when an agreement can’t be easily reached, the time of divorce attorneys, the court and its officials, other family law professionals is enlisted to help arrive at a divorce settlement agreement. 

2. Filing costs

The cost to formally file for divorce through the court varies by state. In the state of Maryland, for example, the average cost to file with the court is $185 (if you hire an attorney; $165 if you are representing yourself—although this is not generally advised if you have joint assets). There are other costs associated with serving your ex with an official decree of divorce.

Things can snowball quickly in a contested divorce because it’s hard to reach an agreement. Court appearances, responding to motions, filing paperwork, and the cost of the time of the professionals involved during the process all add a divorce’s overall price tag. 

3. Legal representation

One of the biggest expenses in any divorce are attorney fees—hourly rates for family law attorneys can be pricey. According to Bankrate, the average cost of a US divorce is around $15,000. Divorce lawyers generally bill for your initial consultation and then establish an hourly rate going forward.

It’s important to familiarize yourself with the services your lawyer provides, and it’s also a good idea to have them disclose billing practices up front so that there aren’t any surprises down the road. Never go in blind. 

Pro-tip: Picking up legwork by getting paperwork and relevant account statements together can help you save on billable hours. Being organizationally savvy and providing an accurate and clear picture of your finances can end up saving you a good chunk of change.

Divorce Mediation Cost - all of the costs involved

4. Divorce mediation cost instead of court

It’s not uncommon for separating couples seeking an uncontested divorce to enter private mediation instead of going through the court system—but how much does divorce mediation cost? According to Thumbtack, divorce mediation costs can range anywhere from $100 and $1000 an hour in the US and an overall cost anywhere between $3,500 and $7,500 (some mediators charge more for services than others and cost varies widely by state). Some professional mediators have an established fixed fee for their services.

Professional mediators who have financial and legal backgrounds can help speed up the divorce process and save you money. But remember, the best option isn’t always the most affordable option. Do some research and make sure you end up with a good fit. 

Mediation may be an easier path to divorce, but is choosing to work with divorce mediator right for you? Choosing to work with a divorce mediator can save you a load of time, stress, and money. A professional divorce mediator possesses the expertise of a lawyer and may also bring a financial services background to the table.  

While divorce is an expense, there is no reason to break the bank. Remember, with a little financial savviness and education, you can offset some of the cost. Want to explore whether divorce mediation is a good fit for you? Contact TruNorth Divorce Solutions for a free consultation.

5 Post-Divorce Budget Tips

by | Apr 21, 2021

We’ve previously published a number of pieces to help you financially prepare for and navigate through your divorce (e.g., Three Critical Financial Steps in Getting You Through Divorce and our free eBook, “Seven Things to Do Before You Divorce”). As you prepare to move beyond divorce, you may be wondering how you’ll ever make ends meet as you transition from a double income to single income household.

TruNorth Divorce has put together a quick list of five post-divorce budget to-do’s for the newly separated—from big ticket items to the smaller often overlooked expenses.

Be realistic about your reduced household income 

With divorce comes the separation of a household and division of assets. The move to a single income household can completely alter your financial outlook—for better or worse. The first step to determining your post-divorce budget is to total up your adjusted monthly expenses and compare this against your new gross monthly income. 

Unless you were the sole income earner, your household income has been reduced. Ideally, your monthly expenses—rent or mortgage payments, utilities, internet and phone services, food, gas, etc.—shouldn’t exceed one third of your total monthly income. Your post-divorce budget could end up leaving you with a surplus, allowing you to splurge by increasing your slush fund. More likely though, you may find yourself having to reduce spending on nonessentials to stay in the black. 

Consider often overlooked increases in household spending

Spouses share cell phone plans, insurance plans, streaming subscriptions, and more. Combining lines for a family plan discount offered by a cell phone provider and bundling auto insurance policies for a better overall rate are just two examples of how couples save money through shared policies and plans.

For some, part of cutting ties with their former partner involves doing away with anything shared. Anything to avoid that awkward text exchange months down the road asking if the Netflix password was changed. Do yourself a solid and be sure to factor these small increases into your monthly budget. It might not seem like much, but the little things can add up quickly. It’s important to get an accurate picture of your spending to establish a proper budget.

Look for viable healthcare coverage

Many married couples share healthcare plans and often choose the better employer plan for optimum coverage and price. If you and your ex shared a health insurance plan, it’s possible that you may see an increase in health insurance coverage costs into your post-divorce budget.

Depending on the specifics of your situation, healthcare could end up being a one of your more costly post-divorce expenses. If you were covered by a spouse’s employer you will need to seek affordable coverage outside of an employer provided plan. Explore the options available in your area, including state and federal healthcare programs that may offer discounts or subsidies.

Pickup contract work to earn additional income

If your post-divorce budget is tight, you may consider picking up some extra cash through “gig work” and independent contracts to supplement your income. Food delivery, rideshare services, and more rely on independent contractors and offer schedule flexibility.

Use your skillset to your advantage—i.e., if you have a strong writing background, consider ghostwriting for a blogsite or tutoring. Craigslist advertises gig jobs in a standalone section and freelance job postings are commonly shared through social media job posting groups. Landing a good side hustle is a quick way to thicken your income stream.

Stick to your post-divorce budget

The first rule of budgeting is stick to your budget. For many of us, that’s easier said than done. Tracking your spending month-to-month can help provide a more accurate picture of where your money is going. Little changes like making your own coffee at home can go a long way to 

Breaking down your spending habits can help you make smart decisions about how to reallocate spending and maximize savings. For example: if you find that your food budget is consistently blown because you’re ordering takeout more than twice a week, you can consciously choose to put a cap on that spending. To monitor how well you’re doing, use an expense tracker app like Mint by Intuit.

Divorce doesn’t have to mean living in squalor. It may require some adjustments to make ends meet and build a solid financial future though. Proper budgeting can set you up for post-divorce financial success. 
For more articles on all things divorce-related, explore our blogsite.

An Optimal Divorce Settlement Agreement

by | Apr 14, 2021

One of the most important legally binding contracts that you will sign during the divorce process is your divorce settlement agreement. What exactly is a divorce agreement? And why is it so important? 

It can’t be stressed enough that your divorce settlement agreement should be taken seriously. This FAQ covers the in-and-outs of divorce agreements. We will discuss what should be included in your agreement along with some of the biggest mistakes made during the negotiation process. 

What is a divorce agreement?

A divorce agreement is a legal document that formally puts into writing all agreements made between you and your ex-spouse. The contents of divorce agreements aren’t cookie cutter. These contracts are tailored specifically for you. That is done by you, your ex, and any mediators or lawyers that may be involved.

What is included in a divorce agreement?

The specifics of a divorce agreement vary situationally but typically this document has detailed considerations surrounding but not limited to: 

  •       Division of marital property and debts (retirement accounts, sale of the marital home, etc.)
  •       Child custody and visitation agreements and/or parenting plan
  •       Child support and/or alimony (considers expected expenses like college education)

Does a judge rule on the agreement?

No. A judge must accept and implement the agreement. They do not rule on whether your divorce settlement agreement is fair (equitable). The judge only assesses the completed agreement for legality in terms of both state and federal laws. 

What are the steps in negotiating a divorce agreement?

The first step in the process is to get the proper legal forms. Next you need to fill in any relevant information you can (current addresses, the date of both the marriage and the separation, names of any children, etc.). After the basics have been handled, you can start drafting a proposed agreement.

Take this process seriously! Don’t sign anything right away! It’s imperative to evaluate settlement proposals and to go over the details down to the letter. You will have to make some compromises. Remember, your endgame is to walk away with an agreement that you both can live with. 

How do you create a divorce agreement?

How you go about your divorce settlement depend largely on the circumstances between you and your ex. Not having a third party mediate your divorce is one of the biggest disservices you can do to yourself . If your divorce is uncontested and amicable, you might be able to arrive at an agreement without pulling teeth. Nevertheless, it’s generally recommended that you work with a professional.

Seeking professional services to help negotiate and draft your divorce settlement agreement is in your best interest. The services of a mediator or lawyer bring a level of expertise into your negotiation and serve as a go-between throughout the process.

Should I choose to work with a divorce lawyer or mediator?

Most divorces don’t need to go to court to be resolved. If you are dealing with an amicable divorce, pursuing it through a divorce attorney and the court system will cost you more time and money. 

Choosing a mediator over a lawyer can bring a different type of expertise to the negotiating table. Professional mediation is usually less costly than going the route of hiring a divorce attorney. The average cost of divorce in the US is roughly $15,000 while the average cost of mediation is between $3,500 and $7,500, according to Thumbtack.com.

How can I help the negotiation process?

Divorce is a heavy life event. It brings a mix of complicated emotions and life upheaval along with it. Financial discussions—like the potential sale of your marital home—aren’t easy topics to broach. To move forward, splitting spouses must find common ground and settle on an agreement that is acceptable for both parties. 

It’s in your best interest to put your emotions aside and try to focus on the task at hand. While easier said than done, it’s beneficial to compartmentalize things as best as you can to keep the lines of communication civil and open. Communication and transparency are essential for negotiation.

What are some of the most common mistakes made during the settlement process?

Not updating estate documents, emotional attachments to assets that influence negotiations, neglecting to consider social security benefits or your pension, and failure to adequately assess and detail debts and assets are big missteps on the road to reach a divorce settlement. However, one of the biggest mistakes a divorcing couple can make involves the only other thing that you can’t escape in life besides death: taxes. 

 Not considering the taxes on any sales of joint property or the division of retirement accounts can really throw a wrench into things, and it can certainly mess up your post-divorce financial plan and budget. Accounting for any taxes you will owe ahead of time will save you a headache at tax-time—don’t let the IRS surprise you.

 

Hopefully, this FAQ sheds some light on the reasons why a divorce settlement agreement is important. Have you read  dos and don’ts surrounding the road to reach a settlement and still have questions? Visit TruNorth Divorce Solutions for a free divorce strategy session.

 

 

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Do You Really Need a QDRO?

by | Apr 9, 2021

You’re in the last steps of your divorce, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel and you’ve reached a settlement agreement with your spouse. Then your mediator or attorney turns to you and says, “Now we just need your QDRO, and that’s going to be an additional fee.” “Wait, why? What is a QDRO, and do I absolutely need it?”

The QDRO is the final step in your divorce, one you can’t skip because most divorces will ultimately involve a QDRO. QDRO is an acronym for a legal document called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order and is required whenever a divorcing couple needs to divide a Qualified Retirement Account.

A Qualified Plan is usually one being held by an employer and includes 401(k) plans, 403(b) plans, pensions, 457 plans, deferred compensation plans, and some RSU, restricted stock unit accounts.

IRAs or, Individual Retirement Accounts do not require a QDRO. However you can use a QDRO to avoid withdrawal penalties, even with an IRA, during a divorce. Legally, the divorce decree is all you need for an IRA division. For a Qualified Retirement Account however, to assign all or a portion of the accounts to a non-employee spouse, it has to be stated in the divorce decree and the QDRO, must be completed and submitted to the plan for the division to take place.

If you are granted retirement assets from a former spouse via QDRO, this is the only opportunity to take money out of that plan with zero penalties. It will be taxable income and there will be no 10% penalty for the withdrawal before age 59 ½. If you want to be able to do this from an IRA, then you must use a QDRO.
In my practice, I facilitate the preparation of QDROs for my clients by acting as their representative to a QDRO attorney that I have vetted and found to be the most affordable and ethical. Through this practice I have become aware of the multitudes of pitfalls that QDROs present and often, the failure of attorneys and mediators to address the issues in the settlement negotiations. Here is just a short list of some of the subtleties often overlooked.

    • Is the non-employee spouse eligible to receive a lump sum settlement upon retirement?
    • If the employee spouse dies, will the non-employee spouse still receive benefits?
    • Were any outstanding loan balances taken into consideration?
    • If splitting a 401(k), what is the actual date of division? Will the earnings after that date be included?
    • For Pensions, does the plan set up a separate account for the non-employee spouse so they can choose their own payout options and beneficiaries? If not, have you protected the non-employee spouse from early-retirement penalties?

As you can see, the waters of a QDRO are fraught with peril and not for the inexperienced! If that wasn’t bad enough, prices for QDROs can range from $500 to $3,000, all for the exact same document. Each plan is unique and has very specific requirements for the language of their QDROs and it is essential that the preparer have the plan documents in advance to ensure it will meet the requirements. You want to ensure that the QDRO will be PRE-APPROVED by the plan if allowed to prevent rejection and more cost to re-do it correctly.

Once your decree is final, signed by the Judge, then you submit the finished QDRO to the Judge as well. Once it is signed, then and only then is it ready to submit to the plan. At that point, they will contact the non-employee spouse to get instructions for the disbursement or to identify the new account set up on their behalf.
QDROs are complicated. Be sure you have an expert that can guide you through it and make sure you don’t get taken advantage of. It just isn’t necessary to go through more pain and frustration.

If you need an affordable, accurate QDRO, contact us today. We’re here to help.

 

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